16&P: Once a d-bag, always a d-bag

16 and Pregnant has some common themes, but none is more common this season than the douchey boyfriend motif. These guys are making Ryan from season one look like the best father/boyfriend in the world.

Last night we met Chelsea, who admitted to not taking birth control because she “can’t even remember to take regular medicine” (though I’m not sure about condom use), and she was pregnant with her boyfriend, Adam. Chelsea said she was telling Adam about her pregnancy as he was trying to break up with her.

Adam “came around” and got back together with Chelsea, and he convinced her that he would become more mature after the baby was born. He vowed to stay home and take care of the baby while Chelsea went to school, and it seemed like he actually might step up after the birth.

Of course, once Aubree was born, he bolted out of the picture pretty fast. As if he left his maturity at the door of the hospital, he chose sleep and fixing cars over spending time with Aubree, and he eventually went weeks without seeing her or responding  to Chelsea’s calls and texts. Eventually, he sent a vile text to her that proclaimed that she was a stupid bitch with stretch marks and that he didn’t want anything to do with that “mistake.”

He also let her know that she was a bad mom because she went to a high school football game one time, although I’m not sure how never seeing your daughter and fixing your crappy car all day makes you a good dad. Chelsea really took accountability for her daughter and didn’t pawn her off on any0ne else — seems like Adam was either mad he wasn’t getting attention, mad that he was expected to grow up, or he really is a truly awful human being who enjoys hurting people in their most vulnerable spaces — in this case, questioning Chelsea’s devotion to Aubree.

Adam also had a bad habit of demeaning Chelsea before Aubree was born (e.g. calling her a whore on Facebook), and he perpetuates the stereotype that being a good mother means quitting life to take care of your child, and being a good father means existing on the planet and sometimes thinking about your child.

It’s horrible to watch these girls not only get pregnant at such a young age, but then to see their partners treat them so terribly during and after their pregnancy — from dating other girls to degrading them verbally to simply removing themselves from the picture completely.

The only solution seems to be this: Don’t have sex with douchebag guys, because those douchey boyfriends will be douchey fathers just the same. None of these guys — Andrew, Josh, Adam — was a saint before becoming a father, so it’s tragic but not surprising that they continued to be awful after becoming a father.

They were all immature, controlling, and verbally and emotionally abuse before their girlfriends’ pregnancies, and girls really need to take these traits into account before jumping into bed with them. Chelsea put it best in last night’s episode when she said it’s one thing for Adam to treat her badly, but it’s another thing to treat her baby — who didn’t have a choice in the matter and did nothing wrong — with the same disrespect.

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One Response to “16&P: Once a d-bag, always a d-bag”

  1. Texting provides dangerous outlet for dating violence « i, sandwich Says:

    […] text message dating violence, I was immediately reminded of an episode of 16 and Pregnant in which Chelsea received the following text message from Adam, her on-again-off-again boyfriend and the father of […]

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